The Awakening
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: Four Empty Desks. One Shootout.


"_You can't protect them forever Jethro…" _

_--_

Four empty desks.

One shoot out.

Ducky placed himself at his friend's bedside day in and day out. He put in his resignation shortly after he'd heard the news and nothing mattered more than being the first face his friend saw when he woke up. It had been twelve days; and something told him his friend may not want to wake up at all. In his eyes he'd failed and no measure of time would change that.

Soon days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Each morning he'd greet him; each afternoon he'd wait patiently and each evening he'd share a story. Some of them were ones his friend may have heard before; but Ducky didn't think he'd mind. One night in particular he began…

"If you're beginning to think I'm running out of stories; you're mistaken Jethro. I could do this every night for as long as I need to…that is unless you'd like to wake up?" He examined Gibbs face for a few moments. "Well then…I recall one morning in late September; I remember it was September because the leaves were starting to turn…anyhow, you arrived in autopsy with a smug look on your face. Said we had a new forensic scientist…what you failed to tell me however; was her uniqueness. I never lived down my reaction to her appearance; for weeks she chastised me for judging her…" He stifled a laugh. "But we both grew to care for her very deeply. So innocent she was; never before did I meet a woman who loved quite as sincerely as she did." He pointed towards his friend. "Particularly for you my dear Jethro…I realize that you may not want to wake up; knowing she is no longer here…but perhaps I could persuade you to…" His eyes welled up with tears as he gazed towards the proverbial heavenlies. "Oh Abigail; I do miss you so…"

And in a moment the old ME had all but given up on; his hand was squeezed ever so slightly. "Jethro?!" He stood up and quickly called for the nurses. "Jethro?" He found himself unable to utter much else but his friend's name; and watched in awe as Gibbs opened his eyes.

"Abby…"

Ducky swallowed hard. "No my dear fellow…it's Ducky…"

He blinked furiously and peered around confused. "Abby…"

Ducky shook his head. "Jethro you were wounded. Do you remember?"

Gibbs tried to sit up but couldn't. "Abby…"

He set both of his hands on Gibbs chest and sighed. "Don't try and get up; you've been in a coma for three months…your muscles are not what they used to be…"

Gibbs gritted his teeth as anger slowly began to rise up. Anger that was welled up for three long months… "Abby!!"

The decibel he'd tried to achieve shocked most of the staff; but not Ducky. He looked down at his friend and did his best to hide the grief on his face. "You and the others; Tony, Timothy, Ziva…you went in search of her…a shootout ensued…you were wounded...the others, they were killed." He sat down as if the recall was physically exhausting. "I'm so sorry."

If Gibbs could've moved he wasn't sure what he'd be capable of. He lifted his head slightly; only to slam it back onto his pillow. He tried to clench his fists but he could hardly move his fingers. Maybe if he closed his eyes again; it would all go away. He'd drift back into memories of Kelly…memories of a time where life was how it should be. But the moment he closed them; a man in a white coat started to holler his name. He wanted to tell him to stop…but the only word he could form was…

"Abby…"

Ducky stood up and remained in Gibbs field of vision. "It is going to take some time Jethro; but you'll be alright…"

How many days are in a 'some time'? How many months? Ducky asked himself those questions every day Gibbs went through therapy; every day he acclimated himself to every day things; and every day he showed no emotion. Even after he had regained his strength; there were no tears; no rage; no sadness. He just was.

Slowly but surely Gibbs pushed Ducky out of his life. He couldn't live with the look in Ducky's eyes; even if he never admitted it. He was a failure and he didn't need anyone else to convince him of that. After completing his proficiency exams he was ready to start over. Or so he thought…

His new team greeted him as if he was the President of the United States. The three of them stood up and nothing short of saluted him.

"Sit down." He was clear from the very beginning how things would be. "I give orders; you take them. You question me; you may not live to regret it." He approached his old desk to find a small box and sifted through it. "Who the hell put these here?"

A young man spoke up. "I did. They were left in my desk…the name on the medal cases were yours. Thought you might want…"

"Do me a favor? Don't think…" He tossed the box back towards his new Agent.

"What do you want me to do with them sir?"

"I don't give a damn…get rid of 'em for all I care." He stood there as if unsure of his next move; and with a short glance at his new team he left without a word. His destination clear.

He stood in the dark elevator for minutes; his finger hovering over the button that would take him where he needed to go. He had prepared himself for months to take this trip; he had defeated his fears…and now he would prove how strong he really was. He hit the button and felt his stomach drop at it's descent. He watched the doors open and close a few times before he finally stepped off onto the floor. A familiar urge wanted to send him down the hall to retrieve a Caf-Pow; but it quickly faded. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes as he entered.

"You must be Agent Gibbs…"

Gibbs slowly opened his eyes and for a moment he pictured her there. Her smile; her delight. But just as quickly as the picture appeared; it was gone. "I am." He ignored the hand she was holding out and began to walk around; and he swore her scent still lingered. As he turned to leave a familiar object caught his eye. "You like stuffed Hippos?"

"Well, not particularly. It was left here…the old ME said she'd want her successor to have it. Said she really loved it. I couldn't bring myself to throw it away."

Gibbs held the stuffed animal and managed a smile before setting it down. He left without a word; and something told the new forensic scientist that that would be something she'd be getting used to.

He arrived back in the bull pen to find his Agents sitting quietly. He tried to hide his eyes as they shifted from one desk to the next. A small part of him still hoped it was all a bad dream; that somehow he'd wake up; and DiNozzo would be abusing McGee; and Ziva would be confusing euphemisms. But he was wrong. And every time he remembered how wrong he was; a small piece of his heart would break.

His phone jolted him out of his thoughts and he picked it up quickly. "Yeah Gibbs?" He listened for a minute before closing his phone and reaching for his side arm. "Marine's gone postal at a recruitment office…grab your gear." He waited for Tim's slue of questions and Tony's smart alec comment; but they never came.

They arrived at the scene and he delivered orders; then approached the Officer in charge moments later. "What do we have?"

"A marine on leave sir…he's holding the recruitment officer hostage."

"Does the recruiter have a family?"

The Officer wasn't expecting the question and quickly sifted through some papers to get him an answer. "Uh yes sir; wife and daughter."

Gibbs nodded. "What's the marine's name?"

"Corporal Rogers sir." He looked through the papers once more. "Just a mother and father sir."

Gibbs nodded and met his team outside the barricade. "Stay."

And before any of them could respond; he handed them his side arm; put his hands up and moved towards the office doors.

"Agents Gibbs!!" The Officer in charge did his best to get him back; but knew from reputation that his attempt was futile. "Give him cover!"

Rogers shifted his aim from his hostage to Gibbs as he came through the door. "Who the hell are you?"

"Just a guy who's been where you are."

He shook his head. "No way."

"Tell me about it then…what happened son?"

He aimed his weapon intently. "What do you care?"

Gibbs stare seemed to convey all the emotions he'd felt over the last six months. "I care."

Rogers hesitated; but recognized the pain in Gibbs eyes. "You have been there sir…haven't you?"

Gibbs nodded and took a small step towards him. "I have Corporal; and I'm here to tell you; if I made it; you can."

"I can't sir."

"Yes you can. Now come on, give me the gun; end this…and you can start over."

Just as Rogers began to lower his weapon; the hostage chose to fight back. "No!" Gibbs made a move as the gun fell to the floor. The recruiter reached for it and aimed…

--

"_Boss, I'm hit." _

"_I'm coming for you Tony." He shifted his weight and looked to his left to see Tim lying motionless. "Ziva?" He yelled over the gun fire and waited. "Ziva?!" Without waiting for an answer he raced to Tony's side; he removed his jacket and held pressure to his wound. "Hold that there Tony. Hold it tight." He peered around as the gun fire continued. It was then he heard her. _

"_Gibbs...I'm pinned down." _

_He placed a hand on Tony. "Don't go anywhere DiNozzo…" He stood up and started towards her…as he did he saw a gunman had her in his sights…he left his feet and took her to the ground. But he was too late…that day. _

_But not today. _

The hostage dropped the weapon from his hands as Gibbs body slumped to the ground; draped over Rogers. The EMT's rushed the scene; but it was too late. The round had ravaged through his heart…and one was left to wonder if it was whole to begin with.

--

Years later a stranger arrived at an elderly man's home and waited patiently at his door step.

"Can I help you young man?"

Rogers swallowed hard. "I don't know if you know who I am; but I swore to myself that when I got out; I'd look up that Agents family…"

Ducky thought for a moment; as his eyes filled with tears. "Agent Jethro Gibbs?"

"Yes…he saved my life. Gave me a chance to start over. And well…" He shifted his weight and swallowed hard. "I did some research and I was told you were his friend."

"I was."

Rogers eyes started to fill with tears as well. "I'm sorry that my choice took him from you."

Ducky managed a wry smile as he placed a hand on the young mans shoulder. "My dear boy; you saved him."

"I don't understand."

"You saved him from a life of believing he was a failure; a life filled with resenting himself…perhaps the reasons why he walked into that office that day."

"Are you saying…he wanted to die?"

Ducky shook his head as a lone tear fell. "One cant know for sure; but one thing I do know...he wasn't alive until the moment he died."


End file.
